The atmosphere in the home has always been calm, cool, and quiet. It seemed as though Jason and Heather rarely had words. Jason would leave in the morning, tiptoeing out the back door, hoping he wouldn't cross paths with Heather. In the evening, he eagerly returned home, not to interact with Heather but to settle down for the night with his social media feeds, sports, and a news channel.
Jason had, unbeknownst to himself, built up walls around himself and his heart as a means of protection. He grew up in a home where the fighting that took place outwardly between his parents ended in divorce. In his mind, he drew the conclusion that any conflict experienced would end the marriage. Any difference in opinions between them was buried, and a wall was erected. This wall had not been fully erected until he married Heather; she felt so alone. She had only known loving interactions while dating and couldn't wait to experience their life together. Now, all she felt was loneliness, isolation, and despair.
Thankfully, they realized this was not him. He loved her and didn't want to hurt her. He wanted more than anything to interact with his beautiful wife! The avoidance he thought would preserve the marriage was actually killing it silently. It was his erroneous conclusion from childhood that could have destroyed a lovely relationship and a life together.
They sought help. Jason addressed his woundedness from divorce, and he gained insight and freedom. Heather was willing to walk beside Jason through his process of healing, and they learned how to speak out issues and resolve conflicts that actually resulted in greater intimacy, not divorce. This willingness to heal saved their marriage and has given their children and grandchildren hope and a future. What a great legacy!
Dr. Anita J. Arrunategui/ Images: Canva Pro
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