We all think! That’s a fact…
Whether you are a parent, a plumber or an Ivy League professor; perhaps a billionaire, a little child, a millennial or Z generation: you are a 'thinker.'
We think throughout our waking hours; we think when asleep. Science tells us that one crucial task during sleep is to engage our brain in the organizaction of data; particularly that which pertains to the day‘s experiences and interations which then assists us draw conclusions and even find solutions to those situations. (…and we thought we were only resting!).
On a daily basis during our waking hours, we may think about the present moment we are experiencing and the task at hand, current relationships and ongoing experiences, or perhaps we are engaging our thoughts into the past, "digging up stuff." We attempt to make sense or even peace with our past, or look to our future — our vision, our plans, etc. to navigate our efforts to achieve those goals.
All of this is possible and innate! God has wired us in such a way that human beings (unless comatose) spend much of their time thinking. This thinking ability about our past, present, and future enables us to draw assumptions and expectations. We draw conclusions, make judgements and then set a course to move in to meet those expectations.
For each, the thoughts, beliefs and expectations are different. They are driven by our temperament, our environment, particularly by parental modeling, significant caregivers, teachers and by our exposure to trauma, wounds or major loss.
When exposed to the same situation, interestingly two people (including married couples) generally have entirely different reactions. Why? Because they're interpreting the situation differently according to their past thoughts, beliefs and expectations embedded in their mind. It is a familiar path; a road traveled upon since childhood. That is about all they know! (Can you see how this dynamic can cause conflict and trouble in marriage?).
Every thought has a story to tell!
Think about two children. One child is raised by kind, loving, dynamic parents who rejoice in his existence. The other child is raised by unkind, cold-hearted, self-centered, hedonistic, and lazy parents, find his existence to be a constant annoyance. How will each child respond when relating to others? How about when conflict arises?
Our thoughts, beliefs and expectations ALWAYS precede and determine our actions. You don't do what you're doing right now only because of what you're experiencing at the moment. You have thought about and interpreted the experience and now conclusions are drawn. Your interpretation or conclusion may not be right, but that’s your reality. This often happens on an unconscious level and is a knee-jerk reaction. If you are drawing upon inaccurate thought processes, the good news is you have the power to change this.
Can we suggest a better way? We know that finding the location of where the thought originated, then deciding if it’s a right conclusion or not, will afford you the opportunity to change your thought, if necessary, and experience better outcomes in life, relationships and particularly in marriage.
"The Truth Will Set You Free"
*The word”Thought” has more than a hundred synonyms. For the sake of brevity, we use the synonyms: thoughts, beliefs, and expectations.